Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Reach Divorce Settlement; Release Joint Statement

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Katie Holmes is a free b*tch and the church of Scientology can finally breathe a sigh of relief!

Why? Well Katie’s attorney is confirming she and husband Tom Cruise have reached the fastest divorce settlement in the history of celebrity divorces as Tom doesn’t want any of his dirt to come out. Even more shocking at the speed this settlement was reached considering Tom’s camp has been leaking stories about how “blindsided” he was by Katie’s divorce filing.

DID TOM CRUISE & KATIE HOLMES HAVE A FAKE MARRIAGE?

Katie‘s lawyer Jonathan Wolfe released the following statement to PEOPLE -

“The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life. This result could not have been achieved without the hard work of my partner Gary Skoloff and our co-counsel Allan Mayefsky, Michael Mosberg and Larry Trachtenberg of Aronson Mayefsky and Sloan and Peter Walzer and Chris Melcher of Walzer & Melcher in California.

We thank Tom’s counsel for their professionalism and diligence that helped bring about this speedy resolution.  The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life.”

Translation – ‘We had Tom and Scientology by the balls hence the reason we were able to come to this quick divorce agreement. Katie played this excellently and got everything she wanted from Tommy Boy who did not want this to drag on for any minute longer. In return, all Katie had to do was release a joint statement with Tom regarding everything.’ End translation.

Indeed just moments before the couple came to a divorce agreement, they released a joint statement regarding their 6-year-old daughter Suri.

“We are committed to working together as parents to accomplish what is in our daughter Suri’s best interests. We want to keep matters affecting our family private and express our respect for each other’s commitment to each of our respective beliefs and support each other’s roles as parents.”

Today’s events come as no shocker though I am surprised they were able to come to this settlement as quickly as they did. Here’s to hoping Katie settled for nothing less than supervised visitation with Tom when it came to Suri.

A former Scientology official came out last week stating he witnessed the “religion” brainwashing Nicole Kidman’s adopted kids with Tom into thinking their mom was a sociopath. Here’s to hoping they don’t try the same with Suri.

For the time being, the details of the divorce settlement which also includes custody issues, are being kept under wraps. But we will bring it to you the minute they become public!

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THE LATEST? DO YOU THINK KATIE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED?